Who’s who in the self-help zoo
There is no shortage of people who can help you make your desired progress at work or home these days. Three of the most common - and most confused - are mentors, coaches, and psychologists.
Many use these three role titles interchangeably. Apart from the obvious difference of the study needed to practice as a psychologist, what is it that each of these roles do, and who should you be talking to? Knowing this means you’re able to find the right person who will get you moving in the right direction, faster.
The problem
When we are feeling like we need help, we aren’t always in the best place to make informed decisions. Feelings of being ‘stuck’ can also bring a range of emotions including frustration, insecurity, hopelessness, apathy - and if a big change has been forced upon us - even grief. What this means is that we’re not always thinking strategically about who we should talk to, because we just want some help. That means we can waste valuable time, money and energy on the wrong practitioner, at a time when we don’t need additional pressure.
The great news is that all three roles can help, they just work on different things, using different tools.
But who does what?
Let’s lay it out.
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Mentor: A mentor is someone who is more experienced than you, and whose experience and anecdotes will give you ideas on how to handle your own situation.
Coach: Coaching is assisted self-exploration that gives you clarity on your current and future state, and a plan to get there. It explores and challenges values, beliefs and practices to break through barriers preventing progress. A coach fundamentally believes that you already have all the tools to get where you need to go.
Psychologist: A psychologist is trained in the science of how people behave, feel, and act/react. They look to the client’s past to understand how it has shaped who they are today. They use the DSM to diagnose and treat mental health conditions. Psychologists do not prescribe medications, with that responsibility falling to psychiatrists.
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Mentor: A mentor is an informal arrangement, and so the only qualification needed is to be someone who you think has expertise in an area that you don’t, and that you can learn from.
Coach: Qualifications for coaching are not mandatory. Some coaches have completed either a course or a Diploma (view my bio). If your coach practices NLP or hypnosis they should be qualified for these approaches. Accreditation and registration with the ICF is recommended as it includes a commitment to uphold the ICF Code of Ethics.
Psychologist: A psychologist must complete a university degree and clinical placement, as well as be registered with the Psychological Board of Australia (PsyBA) before they can call themselves a psychologist or practise as one.
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Mentor: The main tool of a mentor is the ability to tell good stories. It’s your job to ask great questions of your mentor, who will tell you about a time they handled a similar challenge.
Coach: Good coaches use a variety of reputable coaching models to broaden mindsets. For leadership coaching, understanding of and experience in leadership, business and organisational development is also important.
A coach may also be qualified in other approaches (e.g. NLP) that can help you achieve even greater results.
Psychologist: Psychologists use talk therapy, such as CBT, to help clients with issues such as anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions.
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Mentor: Whatever you desire! Usually a mentorship is based on a specific work goal - such as learning a new skill or exposing you to leadership practice in action.
Coach: How to get your current and future ideal state closer together for increased life satisfaction. This includes shifting mindsets, changing careers, improving confidence, or even working out what you want and how to get there.
Psychologist: How the past affects today, and psychological interventions to improve quality of life.
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Mentor: Cheap! Mentors generally do not charge for their time with you, though as they are usually someone well-respected - they are often busy. It is common within organisations for more experienced leaders to mentor less experienced managers and employees. Many large organisations have established mentorship programs, so don’t be afraid to ask what might already exist that you can tap into.
Coaching: The benefits are influenced by the type of coaching you’re after. A skilled coach empowers you with a fresh mindset, enhanced decision-making, increased confidence, resilience, self-awareness, communication skills and performance, among others. It has positive flow-on effects to other areas of your life.
Some coaches (like myself) offer a free introductory coaching session before committing to any payment.
Psychologist: A psychologist can help you better understand what’s driving your emotions and give you the tools to respond to them in productive ways. Psychologists are well equipped to help with mental health concerns and highly complex cases.
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Mentors: Mentors usually don’t receive training for the role, so quality can vary. It’s heavily driven by what you want from the relationship. So if you’re not sure what that is, a coach is better-placed to help you work that out.
Before approaching a respected leader to mentor you, be very clear on what you want to achieve. Every interaction builds your professional brand - and a poorly thought out request can have negative consequences.
Coaching: Coaching, like all professional services, costs money. In Australia, coaching can cost between $250 and $500 (or more) per session for individuals based on the type of coaching you’re after and experience of the coach (Executive and Leadership Coaching being more costly than Life Coaching).
Psychologist: In Australia (2024-25) the standard private consultation fee is $311, however psychologists can charge more. It’s not always easy to tell if they’ll be the right practitioner for you - so it can take time and a lot of money until you find the right psychologist. Good psychologists are booked out well in advance so it can take time to get an appointment.
Some people may be eligible for a Medicare rebate, or support from an allied health service. Speak to your GP to understand eligibility.
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Mentor: Yes. A great relationship can do wonders for your relationships and networking, and help you cement your place as a future star of your organisation. Proactive mentors may sponsor the mentee, supporting them to attain new roles, relationships or experiences.
Coaching: Yes. Coaching can change our entire outlook by empowering us to take meaningful future-focused action that for whatever reason, we’ve been unable to prior. The benefits extend well beyond the primary focus area of sessions.
Psychologist: Yes. Mental health is important for us to lead happy and fulfilled lives, and poor mental health can be a predictor for poor social, medical and financial outcomes.
Picking the right practitioner
Once you’ve decided on ‘what’, the challenge becomes finding the right ‘who’. My recommendations:
Don’t assume that just anyone will do. Each practitioner has different processes, tools, and personality. It’s important you feel welcome, safe, and in a non-judgemental environment so you’re able to openly discuss issues. Do some research.
Look at their website or other available information e.g. online social presence. Do they look well-informed? Is their information consistent and well presented, or is it scattered? Can you find information easily? Is it succinct and written in an easily understandable way?
Read their testimonials. Look for information about their style, how welcome clients felt, the results they achieved, and anything else that’s important for you.
Talk to them. A good practitioner will have a conversation with you about your goals before you start. Some coaches, like myself, offer a free introductory session so you get to experience what it’s like working with them to ensure you’re a great match. This way you can enter into the partnership confident that you’ll get value for your time and money.
A good practitioner will tell you if they’re not the person for you.
Mentor, coach and psychologist are three very different roles that can all assist you to make real and sustainable change, depending on your needs. Be sure to pick your person wisely!
Give me a call to schedule a free introductory session, to see if I’m the right person for you.
